Sustainable Success Nudge from Your Future Self:
💬 “Perfection doesn’t prove your worth—it strangles your magic.”

This week: When you feel the fight of “it’s not good enough yet,” pause. Breathe. Step out of survival and back into your Executive State—where flow lives. The question in my message below will help you do just that.

Hi Melinda,

Let’s tell the truth—perfection looks great on paper. It masquerades as excellence, high standards, and “doing it right.”

But internally? It’s driven by fear.
Perfection is just fear in heels—polished, poised, and pretending she’s got it all together.

I know her well.
For years, she ran my business meetings, wrote my marketing copy, and even managed my to-do list. She’s sneaky because she wears the same outfit as high expectations.

But there’s a big difference between perfection and high expectations.

Perfection is rooted in fear and control—it’s that overextended By Me energy that says, “I have to make this perfect so I can feel safe.” 

When we look at the neuroscience of perfectionism, it shows up as a sign we’re operating from the Survival State—in fight mode. Perfectionism becomes our way of “fighting:” trying to prove ourselves, or outpace discomfort, or earn safety through doing. It traps us in the if/then loop: “If I just get it perfect, then I’ll be okay.”

High expectations, on the other hand, come from love and intention—it’s Through Me energy. It sounds like: “I’ll hold a powerful vision and let life meet me there.” Holding high expectations helps us remain in the Executive State of our brain—where clarity, creativity, and calm live.

In chapter 6 of Sustainable Success, I share a story about when I learned this powerful distinction. For years, my “standards” were really perfectionism in disguise. I resisted giving it up because I didn’t want to lower the quality of what I expected of myself, my team, or my clients.

But when I finally shifted from By Me to Through Me, everything softened.
I could keep the high expectations and high standards. My work still had excellence—but it also had breath, joy, and flow.
That shift allowed space for synchronicities, ease, and outcomes that were better than my controlling mind could have planned.

Try this:

Think about something you’ve been holding to a perfectionist standard lately.
A project, an email, an offer, a conversation.
Then ask yourself:

• Am I holding this to perfection because I’m afraid of what happens if it’s not?
  
  
• Or am I holding a high expectation because I trust what’s coming through me?
  

That simple question can change everything.

If you want to explore this distinction more deeply, revisit Chapter 6 of Sustainable Success—where I share how “Through Me” expectations became the key to effortless excellence (without burnout).

With love (and permission to ditch the heels),
Melinda